I guess everyone has their share of spam: silly cats, grotesque videos, funny “psychological” tests and so on. However every now and then comes a spam that is so incredibly retarded that deserves to be mentioned. Those that take the cake are those containing a post-scriptum that basically says: “I’m not spam!” and then they go on ranting about how they’re not spam, quoting a law number and putting together some retarded reasons (we’ve found your email in a public place) which have nothing to do with the quoted law number. I will dedicate a few future articles to these.
The one I’m about to showcase here is a psychological test. As many others in this category, it claims to reveal something you didn’t know before about yourself. The translated text goes at follows:
Try this test, it is very interesting. I will only take you 2 minutes.
Here are 5 things that require your attention, all happening simultaneously.
1. Phone rings
2. Your child is crying
3. Doorbell ringing
4. Your laundry is drying outside and it starts to rain
5. Your kitchen tap is running and sink is overflowing
In what order do you attend to these issues? Write down the order on a piece of paper. The results are interesting as they each problem represents something in your life. After your ordering is final, go down the page and see their meaning.
1. phone: work
2. child: family
3. doorbell: friends
4. laundry: money
5. tap: sex
Did you happen to choose the tap?
Of course everyone is going to choose the tap. It is the problem that is quickest and easiest to fix. Imagine for a moment the situation.
- you water is running. You can’t save the laundry, some is bound to get wet since you can’t carry everything inside. Since it’s wet anyway (otherwise you would’ve taken it inside already), rain has to bearing. The child cries but you won’t manage to stop the child’s cries instantly anyway (are you going to let your home be flooded in the meantime?). It doesn’t make sense to let someone in your place with a wet floor. You won’t answer the phone while a child is howling and with everything else going down around. However, tap is the easiest fix (especially since you don’t have to mop the floor instantly). => tap is first, phone is last.
- On the same reasoning, doorbell is second. Makes no sense to leave someone at the door while you’ll be attending to more time-consuming tasks. By this time anyway, whoever is at the door can definitely tell someone’s home. You can always let your guest in, say hi and ask them to wait while you’re tending to the rest. => doorbell second.
- You’re left with choosing between child and laundry, now you can go either way (most likely the phone went to the machine by now). Since for the clothes is too late anyway (and you can always put them in the machine with a short schedule to dry them) you might as well tend to the child (it will also give you the freedom to talk to your guest freely). => child third
- Now you have the laundry (if the guest is a friend you might as well ask for helping hand) => laundry fourth.
In the end the test doesn’t say anything about ourselves (unless, maybe, that we’re lacking common sense). In any serious psychological test, sex is represented by a pleasurable activity, often something eating sweet. What the hell does a tap have to do with sex? Any elementary logic can tell you the results are “rigged” since basic common sense has the tasks already ordered and the more familiar you are with managing everyday life, the more likely you are to fall in the trap.
Although the test does say something about the author: retarded.